How to find out if someone fathered a child
How to Find a Biological Father without his Name - Your DNA Guide
Diahan Southard
Share with a friend:
Searching for a birth father? Read these tips from Troy Olson from DiscoverFamily.net on how to find a biological father without his name from an expert who helps adoptees and others find their birth parents.
How to find a biological father without his nameClick for the FREE Guide
Our mantra for birth father searches
Our team has a mantra we use for birth father searches, “Paternity is always in question.” This means that we usually do not take any details or evidence provided as 100 percent accurate when it comes to determining and locating a birth father. In some cases, a birth mother may have been totally sober and aware at the time of conception and had no other sexual relations. But in many or most cases we work on there was frequently drugs and/or alcohol involved, as well as more than one possible sexual partner who could be the birth father. The simple logistics of the situation mean that the birth father only had to be present for a few moments. We have worked on cases where the birth mother refuses to divulge or simply doesn’t know. We don’t mean to offend, but we typically approach birth father searches needing concrete evidence. The most tangible evidence available is a DNA test or a paternity test.
Take a DNA test–and learn how to use the results.
Consumer DNA testing, in many cases, is the only way that a biological father can be accurately determined. It’s a two-step process:
Take as many DNA tests as you can. Your results will be matched to others in company databases who share common DNA with you. Start with AncestryDNA,* which has the largest database of testers and best tools for figuring out how you’re related to others who have tested there. (AncestryDNA not sold where you live? Explore other options.)
Learn how to explore your list of DNA relatives for clues about your birth father’s identity.
If you test with AncestryDNA, take our AncestryDNA Tour to learn how to navigate your results and find answers in your DNA match list.
Not ready to meet your birth relatives?
You can learn a lot about your birth roots from your DNA even if you aren’t quite ready to have contact with your biological relatives. Learn more in a free downloadable guide from Your DNA Guide, which also has a table to help you understand the likelihood of being able to identify a birth parent with your current test results.
Get Free Guide: Birth Roots and DNA
Request your original birth certificate
Depending on what US state you were born in, you may be able to request your original birth certificate. See a breakdown of the laws of each state. This typically only works for those who were adopted. In our experience, it rarely has both the birth mother’s name and the birth father’s name. It’s one possibility, so we list it here. Born in the U.
K.? Read Finding Birth Parents in the U.K.
Use a search engine to locate and research
If you have your birth father’s name or some pieces of information about him, you can use the internet to possibly locate him or additional information. Try these tips for searching for living relatives online.
Use a background check system
In this information age, it’s possible and even advisable to get a background check on any birth relatives. You want to ensure your own safety and that of your family before ever reaching out to anyone. Many services provide background checks. Our team at DiscoveryFamily.net has tested many different systems and the largest and best we have found is TruthFinder.com.
Get expert help finding your birth father
Searching for a birth father can be a difficult and lonely process. Expert help is available! Read 4 steps to discovering your birth roots, and explore more do-it-yourself resources from Your DNA Guide that can help you in your search.
Get Free Guide: Birth Roots and DNA
Not so much a do-it-yourselfer? If you want free help finding birth parents from volunteer search angels, reach out to my team at DiscoverFamily.net
Thank you to Troy Olson, the Co-Founder of DiscoverFamily.net, for writing this guest blog post.
Our team of search angels has helped thousands of people to find their birth parent(s). Over half of the requests we receive are people searching for their biological father. In this post, we want to help those who specifically want to know how to find their biological father without knowing his name. Here are the ways we approach searches when the names are not known. Please read and consider all of them for your search.
Buy AncestryDNA test - United States
Buy AncestryDNA test - United Kingdom
Buy AncestryDNA test - Canada
Buy AncestryDNA test - Australia
As founder and CEO of Your DNA Guide, Diahan Southard has been teaching people how to find family history answers in their DNA for several years, and she's been in the genetic genealogy field since its infancy.
Diahan teaches internationally, writes for popular magazines, consults with leading testing companies, is author of Your DNA Guide–The Book, and producer of Your DNA Guide–the Academy, an online learning experience.
Birth Records and Paternity - MN Dept. of Health
Office of Vital Records processing time
As of December 9, 2022, the Office of Vital Records has completed paternity court-ordered requests received on December 6, 2022.
The Office of Vital Records deposits fees the day it receives them; this is before we review and process your request.
On this page:
Get a certified copy
Add a father with an ROP
Add a father with a court order
Get a certified copy of a filed Recognition of Parentage or other parentage forms
- Complete an Application for a Certified Copy of a Recognition of Parentage, Spouse’s Non-parentage Statement, or Revocation Form (PDF).
- Sign and date the application in front of a notary public.
- The fee is $9. Fees are non-refundable.
- Payment is by credit card (MasterCard, VISA, or Discover), check or money order. We deposit fees upon receipt.
- The Office of Vital Records returns applications that are incomplete, not signed in front of a notary public, or not paid in full at the time of application.
- The Office of Vital Records does not have walk-in service. Send the application and fee by:
- Fax your application to 866-416-1357. Do not fax it more than once; we process each application as a separate request. Shade over a raised notary seal with a pencil.
- Mail your application to the address shown on the application.
Top of Page
Add a father to a birth record with a Recognition of Parentage (ROP) form
The Minnesota Voluntary Recognition of Parentage (PDF) form allows a biological father to establish paternity when he is not married to the mother.
There is no fee to file an ROP with the Office of Vital Records. Same-sex couples cannot use an ROP to establish parentage.
The ROP:
- may be completed at the hospital at the time of the child's birth, or be filled out later
- must show the child’s name and the mother's name as they appear on the birth record
- must be signed and dated by both parents in front of a notary public
- must be free of corrections and cross outs to avoid rejection
- must be filed with the Office of Vital Records to be considered valid
If the mother is married to someone who is not the biological father when the child is born, her spouse may complete a Spouse’s Non-parentage Statement (SNPS) within the year after the child’s birth. The Office of Vital Records must receive both the SNPS and the ROP forms to replace the spouse's name with the biological father's name on the child's birth record.
Parentage forms are available from county child support offices or the Minnesota Department of Human Services - Forms webpage.
For more information about the ROP Program, call the Department of Human Services at 651-296-2542 or 800-657-3954 or visit a child support office.
Top of Page
Add a legal parent to a birth record with a court order
A legal parent, including a biological father, can be added to a birth record with a court order. The Office of Vital Records charges a $40 fee to add a legal parent's name to a birth record with a court order. Fees are non-refundable.
The court order must:
- show the child’s name and date of birth as it appears on the birth record
- state the name of the person who is the legal parent of the child, and
- state that the legal parent's name is to be added to the child's birth record.
Mail a certified copy of the paternity court order with the $40 fee to the mailing address shown on the right side of this page.
Instructions for court administrators and child support
For more information on getting a court order to establish parentage, please see the Minnesota Department of Human Services - Establishing parentage webpage.
Top of Page
How are we doing?
- Please provide feedback!
How do you know if you have enough breast milk?
Nowadays, almost all mothers want to breastfeed their babies. But not one mother during pregnancy does not think that there may be any problems with feeding. These problems overtake already in the hospital. It seems that all the problems, suffering, pain are behind you, your baby is next to you, but now a new stage in your life begins.
Breastfeeding. Will I succeed?
Every woman is capable of breastfeeding. The main attribute for this is your chest and a positive attitude. Every woman has colostrum, that is, the first milk appears at different periods: for someone in the middle of pregnancy, for someone on the day of birth, sometimes it comes only on the third day.
If colostrum does not come on the third day, then you should not give up. Continue to apply the baby to the breast and this will stimulate the production of milk.
Find a comfortable position for you and your baby and enjoy being with each other. nine0004
Preparation for feeding during pregnancy
You don't have to worry about your breasts losing their shape.
The first thing you need to do is to buy good support underwear to lighten your breasts. Owners of large breasts should use such a bra from the middle of pregnancy. When buying this bra, keep in mind that your breasts will increase in volume when the milk arrives.
nine0002 Also consider comfortable nursing clothes. It will be useful to you already in the hospital.No need to torture your nipples during pregnancy by rubbing them with a terry towel, wearing rags in your bra and other manipulations with your breasts.
Examine the shape of your nipples: they may be flat or protruding.
A flat nipple will be more difficult for a baby to latch on to and will most likely require silicone breast pads so that the baby can draw on the milk.
Don't worry that you will feed your baby all the time through these pads, after a couple of weeks the baby will pull on your nipples. nine0004
The most sensible advice for mothers when it comes to breastfeeding is to cook the head, not the chest.
Does the baby need formula?
What to do if the milk does not come? Here, rather, everything depends on the mother and the behavior of the child, if the child cries, perhaps he is hungry. The hospital staff will offer you to feed your baby. In principle, the baby has enough colostrum for the first days of life, but if it is not there, do not torment the child, feed the mixture and continue to apply. nine0004
What happens if a child loses weight?
Weight loss of 10% at the time of discharge is considered normal - the baby has edema , a lot of meconium comes out. Usually a baby gains 150-200 grams in the first week of life.
How can you tell if your baby is getting enough milk?
The main indicator that the baby is full is his good behavior.
If the baby lets go of the breast after feeding, plays for a while, and then falls asleep, then he has enough milk. If the baby is capricious, sleeps poorly, you should think about the lack of milk. nine0004
The first and surest way to check is baby weights. The disadvantage of this method is the purchase of such scales, which are not cheap. You can ask your hospital if they rent weights or look in ads.
So, we weigh the baby before feeding and after, and by the difference we look at how much the baby ate. The norm for children under 4 months is 1/5 of their weight. For example, with a child weighing 3500 grams, his norm will be 700 grams of milk per day. With 7 feedings a day, the baby should gain about 100 grams after feeding. nine0004
The second method is the old method called “wet diapers”. There are two ways to carry out this method. The first involves the rejection of modern diapers for a day. You can buy a piece of gauze and make diapers, you can just put the child in sliders, by the way, in the sliders it will be clearly visible when the child has urinated.
For example, we start the experiment at 7 am today and end at 7 am tomorrow. These days you need to feed the baby only breast milk and not give any more liquid. nine0004
Record the number of times the child has urinated on the tablet, so it is more convenient to count.
Do not worry that you will not succeed, be patient and dry things.
During the day you can do this:
- normal or disposable absorbent diapers can be used;
- the child may be dressed in a romper suit or gauze diaper; nine0004
It is better to cancel a walk in the cold season. In the summer, we cover the stroller with a diaper and take clean clothes with us.
At night it is more difficult, but it can be done really well. We act in the same way as with the stroller - we cover the bed with a diaper. It is better to prepare a supply of diapers for the night. You may have noticed that the child pees, when he comes out of deep sleep, he begins to move.
So the day has passed. Wet diapers will tell us if your baby is getting enough milk and if the kidneys are working well. Urine during the day can be transparent, and in the morning it can be more concentrated, that is, it can be yellow. nine0004
The number of urinations depends on the age of the child:
- 1-3 days a day 2-5 urinations;
- 3-6 days a day 4-8 urinations;
- 6-14 days a day approximately 12 urinations;
- after 14 days a day 12 or more urination .
Test result (after 14 days):
- 12 or more diapers - your lactation is normal;
- 8-10 diapers per day - lactation is reduced;
- less than 8 diapers - the baby does not have enough of your milk. Discuss supplementary feeding with your pediatrician.
The second method of counting urination baby is the weighing of wet diapers .
Day collect use diapers , each of them is tightly tied in a bag to avoid evaporation of urine, feces are cleaned from diapers . In a day, we weigh the use of diapers and the same number of clean diapers . The difference between used and clean diapers is the amount of urine per day. Next, divide this number by 30 (the approximate weight of one urination) and get the number urination .
Such weighings are carried out either once to compile a general picture, or over a couple of days to dispel doubts that there is not enough milk. Weigh your child once a week.
What if the baby does not get enough breast milk?
First of all, calm down and don't panic. Next, if possible, find a lactation consultant. Perhaps you have the wrong feeding process. Perhaps the baby is not grasping the breast correctly, is the baby tightly pressed against your body with the tummy.
It would seem nonsense, but perhaps the whole problem is precisely in this. Also, the consultant should examine your child, he may have a short bridle, the anatomy of the jaw, you may need to try other positions for comfort and proper grip. Also pay attention to how often you change breasts, perhaps the baby is sucking out your foremilk, which is less fat. nine0004
Increased lactation
In order to increase lactation, two breasts can be given in one feeding. In order to prevent the baby from sucking only the foremilk, it is necessary to monitor when the baby stops swallowing milk, but simply sucks at the breast
An equally important aspect is the calmness of the mother. Households should take care during these periods so that the mother does not get tired of household chores, help her in everything and be affectionate with her. nine0004
An excellent stimulation of lactation is facilitated by the fact that mother and baby feel each other's skin.
When a baby suckles, the mother's brain receives a signal about how much milk her child needs. If the baby is hungry, then, accordingly, he will suckle the breast more, in response to this, the mother's brain will send more hormones that stimulate milk production, which then send a command to your breast to produce more milk. This is the supply-demand system. That is why it is important not overdo it with hormone signals.
If you still need to stimulate the production of milk, then you can use lactogonal agents: fennel seeds, lactation teas, appilac .
Breast massage with oils also helps.
In bad weather, refuse to walk, lie in an embrace with the baby, this will also be a good stimulation. nine0004
If this does not help, then consider supplementing your baby with formula.
Complementary formula.
Formula supplementation is a type of infant feeding that combines breastfeeding and formula feeding.
But the percentage of the mixture per day should not be more than 50%, otherwise such feeding will be considered artificial.
Supplementation with formula during breastfeeding is required temporarily. The task of the mother in this situation is to maintain lactation, and not transfer the child to the mixture. nine0004
In the first six months of a baby's life, he is prescribed supplementary feeding with formula, since it is not allowed to feed cereals and vegetable purees until six months. After six months, the issue of supplementary feeding is decided individually.
Start giving your baby some formula, approximately 15-30 grams per feeding. We monitor urination, if less than 8 times a day, then the same amount of the mixture should be added. If the baby urinates more than 15 times, then the amount of the mixture can be slightly reduced. nine0004
Offer the mixture strictly after breastfeeding. If he has not eaten it, then it is poured out and a new one is prepared for the next feeding.
If the baby does not finish eating the formula on subsequent occasions, try removing it and doing the wet diaper test again.
Can full breastfeeding be brought back?
Moreover, this is what needs to be achieved. Lactation consultants have a lot of experience in transitioning from mixed to natural feeding. Of course, this is not a one-day job, mom needs to be patient, be confident in her abilities. nine0004
It is necessary to breastfeed before each feeding with the formula, gradually reducing its amount, but we also do a wet diaper test to understand if the baby is full. Applications during breaks should be very frequent.
So, to return to breastfeeding you need:
- to restore bodily contact;
- accustom the baby to the breast;
- gradually reduce the amount of supplementary feeding; nine0004
- disperse lactation.
How many months to breastfeed?
There is no consensus on the duration of breastfeeding.
There are opinions that a child needs to be fed up to a year, others say that up to three years, others say until the moment the child refuses to breastfeed.
The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding your baby until two years of age. But from 6 months of age, your milk can't provide all of your baby's nutritional needs, and it's time to introduce complementary foods. nine0004
Most often, a one-year-old child has only nighttime breastfeeding, as it is convenient for both mother and baby.
Benefits of long-term breastfeeding:
- nutritional value;
- protection against diseases;
- reducing the risk of allergies;
- the formation of the correct bite.
You should not stop breastfeeding if your baby is sick, it is during this period that your milk adjusts to his needs and can be the best medicine.
How to set up a milk bank?
Your lactation has picked up and now you have more than enough milk.
In such a situation, we create a milk bank. To do this, you need a breast pump and airtight milk storage bags. You can even without a breast pump if you have learned how to pump with your hands. We express milk, seal it in an airtight bag and the supply is ready. nine0004
Breast milk can be stored this way for up to 3 months.
To feed your baby with such milk, you just need to take it out of the freezer and defrost it, warm it up a little and you can feed the baby.
Can I breastfeed my second child?
It's real. The main thing is to believe in yourself. It is best to find a lactation consultant who would help from the first days. nine0004
Is it necessary to follow the diet of a breastfeeding mother?
You need to eat more consistently during the first 2 weeks of your baby's life. Your diet should include cereals, not fatty meat, fish. Vegetables should not be bright colors.
Then gradually introduce one product into the diet and monitor the baby's reaction. If you are not prone to allergic reactions, then most likely your child is too.
Eating for two, as our grandmothers said, is not necessary. It is enough to increase your diet by 500 kilocalories.
The best diet during breastfeeding is proper nutrition with a varied diet.
Breast care while breastfeeding
No need to wash your breasts with soap before every feeding.
It is necessary to do air baths for the chest before feeding, so that the chest would rest from clothes. nine0004
You don't need to put nipple ointments on your breasts if your breasts are okay. We use ointment if there really are cracks. The best cream will be your milk. Just after each feeding, you need to squeeze out a little milk and lubricate the nipples with it.
Warm your breasts before feeding to help you relax and increase your milk supply.
If breastfeeding failed
nine0002 The main thing is not to self-flagellate. You have done a great job in order to establish feeding and feed the baby with your milk.The next step is to choose an adapted formula. Sometimes it takes a while to get the mix right.
The main thing to remember is that your baby will love you whether you breastfeed or formula feed him!
Scientists named signs of giftedness in children
How to spot a capable child? When is the "golden period" for the development of talents in children? What is the "age of questions"? These and other questions of "RG" are answered by the leading researcher of the laboratory of psychology of giftedness of the Psychological Institute of the Russian Academy of Education Elena Belova.
Elena Sergeevna, a high school student from Yekaterinburg, who memorized and wrote more than 13 thousand numbers after the decimal point from the Pi sign, got into the Russian Book of Records.
There are kids who, by the age of 2-3, know the multiplication table, the capitals of all countries. Are they gifted kids? nine0096
Elena Belova: Giftedness and learning outcomes, training are two different things. If you show the letters of the alphabet and repeat the names to a two-year-old child every day, in a month or earlier he will know a lot by heart. But it will not be knowledge that will please him, but the approval of adults. A gifted child is ready to give up sweets, walks, and sleep for the sake of a new book, a favorite pastime. The main component of giftedness is a high creative potential. It allows you to think outside the box, unconventional, find original solutions and can manifest itself already in preschool childhood. No wonder the age from 5 to 8 years is called the "golden period" of the development of children's creativity. About 20 percent of today's preschoolers have a high creative potential. However, the disclosure of this potential can be delayed and even ruined at any stage of development.
nine0005
How can parents understand if they have a gifted child or just an ordinary one?
Elena Belova: Pay attention to how your child explores the world around them. There is evidence that gifted children in the early stages of development - up to 2-3 years old - have a more persistent and pronounced reaction to a new object, sound, image. New toys delight everyone, but one child will forget about the toy in an hour, and the other will try to study it better - throw it up, twist it, lower it into the water, cover it with a rug ... Speech is the most important indicator of development. Children have a so-called age of questions - from about two and a half to three and a half years. It is difficult to distinguish this age among the gifted. They ask a lot of questions all the time. Topics are deeper, and topics are broader. For example, a child at the age of four may be interested in how a computer or TV works, memorize chess combinations.
nine0005
What if you take tests that will tell you whether you have a miracle child or not?
Elena Belova: First, answer the question: why do you need to identify giftedness? To satisfy your own vanity, in order to relieve anxiety (all children are like children, but mine is not like that), for psychological help, in order to create conditions for the development of abilities?
Of course, for the development of abilities!
Elena Belova: Here is the simplest questionnaire for parents and teachers. Answer "yes" or "no" to five statements. 1. The child is proactive, lively, mobile. 2. He readily responds to everything new. 3. Curious, loves everything mysterious, incomprehensible. 4. Often needs the support of elders. 5. Shows the ability to concentrate for a longer period of time than peers. Did you answer "yes" to all questions? There are reasons to consider the child capable. The use of serious tests requires professional training, so it is better to contact specialists.
nine0005
And keep in mind, gifted children can be very sensitive, vulnerable.
8 percent of preschoolers and primary school children admitted that they cannot live without gadgets...
Elena Belova: them fade into the background. We cannot completely remove gadgets, but if we do not develop the creative potential of the child, it will hardly be possible to talk about giftedness. What's in Gadgets? Ready-made instructions, a series of changing sensory impressions instead of independent play, active creativity and communication with close adults. Perhaps gadgets contribute to the development of attention, memory, reaction speed, and the accumulation of visual experience. How useful this will be when initiative and independence are required is a question. nine0005 ...To make your gifted children grow up financially wealthy - read excerpt from Yakov Mirkin's book, published in today's issue. By the way Thomas Alve Edison neighbors, acquaintances, teachers considered mediocre child. He was absent-minded, studied poorly, and in addition had hearing problems. His parents had to pick him up from school. Photo: Gettyimages Ilya Mechnikov was known as a failure in his childhood, he endured ridicule from his brothers and their contemptuous attitude. The only place where he was head and shoulders above everyone else was botanism. He paid 2 kopecks to the brothers just for them to listen to him. Photo: Gettyimages Sergei Prokofiev was an adored child in the family, his parents became his first teachers in Russian, arithmetic, geography, history. By the age of 6 he had already written three plays. Photo: Gettyimages Charles Gounod was multi-talented: he composed sacred music, drew beautifully and wrote talentedly. His parents were also extraordinary people and supported their son. Photo: Gettyimages Specifically 1. Take your child for a walk, even if he is still in a stroller, put your phone in your pocket. Try to talk as much as possible with the child, show and name what surrounds him: "This is a tree, it is big, tall, this is a flower, look how beautiful it is!" The child's vocabulary begins to grow long before the child begins to speak. nine0005 2. Read books to your child, saying all the words. Pay attention to the illustrations, details. Ask: "Who is the bunny looking at?", "Where did the fox run?" etc. The child is silent and does not answer? Give the answer yourself: "The bunny looks at the house (wolf, grove ...)", "The fox runs to the lake (into the forest, on the path ...)". 3. When active speech begins, watch how it develops. Speech disorders are usually very closely related to the functioning of the brain. Remember: gifted children may speak later than usual, but they begin to speak a lot at once and quite correctly. 4. Preschool age - the age of play. When buying new toys, prioritize those that allow your child to use them creatively. 5. Keep a diary of the child's development, until the age of 7, development proceeds at a gigantic pace. Write down the ideas, sayings, writings of the baby. Be attentive to all his creative manifestations! Meanwhile Recently, on one of the TV shows about the unusual abilities of children, Kamilla Aliyeva from Dagestan amazed the presenter. The girl does mental arithmetic and solves two thousand examples in her mind in 20 minutes! How does a 12-year-old girl do all this? nine0005 Photo: 1tv.ru It is based on learning with the help of a special counting board (abacus) like the one that all accountants used to have. Abacus is still different from the usual accounting board. Considered stupid .
.. ...and idolized
How to help your creative abilities unfold
But if there is still no speech at the age of three, perhaps this is a reason to turn to a speech therapist. nine0005 Account in favor of Kamilla
