How to care a child tips

9 Steps to More Effective Parenting (for Parents)

Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world — and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.

These 9 child-rearing tips can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.

Kids start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents' eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else.

Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.

Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like "What a stupid thing to do!" or "You act more like a baby than your little brother!" cause damage just as physical blows do.

Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don't love their behavior.

Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well-intentioned?

The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: "You made your bed without being asked — that's terrific!" or "I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient." These statements will do more to encourage good behavior over the long run than repeated scoldings.

Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards — your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are "growing" more of the behavior you would like to see.

Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults.

Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed.

You might want to have a system in place: one warning, followed by consequences such as a "time out" or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is failure to follow through with the consequences. You can't discipline kids for talking back one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.

It's often hard for parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably nothing kids would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Kids who aren't getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they're sure to be noticed that way.

Many parents find it rewarding to schedule together time with their kids. Create a "special night" each week to be together and let your kids help decide how to spend the time. Look for other ways to connect — put a note or something special in your kid's lunchbox.

Teens seem to need less undivided attention from their parents than younger kids. Because there are fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to know more about your child and his or her friends in important ways.

Don't feel guilty if you're a working parent. It is the many little things you do — making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping — that kids will remember.

Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you're constantly being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home.

Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.

You can't expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, "say so. " They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don't take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.

Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as well. Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.

If you often feel "let down" by your child's behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in "shoulds" (for example, "My kid should be potty-trained by now") might find it helpful to read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or child development specialists.

Kids' environments have an effect on their behavior, so you might be able to change that behavior by changing the environment. If you find yourself constantly saying "no" to your 2-year-old, look for ways to alter your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you.

As your child changes, you'll gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are, what works with your child now won't work as well in a year or two.

Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection!

As a parent, you're responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it.

When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which hurt self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, try to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.

Face it — you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize your abilities — "I am loving and dedicated." Vow to work on your weaknesses — "I need to be more consistent with discipline." Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your partner, and your kids. You don't have to have all the answers — be forgiving of yourself.

And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you're burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy.

Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.

7 Tips for Raising Caring Kids — Making Caring Common

Why?

Children need practice caring for others and being grateful—it’s important for them to express appreciation for the many people who contribute to their lives. Studies show that people who engage in the habit of expressing gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving—and they’re also more likely to be happy and healthy. 

How? 

Learning to be grateful and caring is in certain respects like learning to play a sport or an instrument. Daily repetition—whether it’s helping a friend with homework, pitching in around the house, having a classroom job, or routinely reflecting on what we appreciate about others—and increasing challenges make caring and gratitude  second nature and develop children’s caregiving capacities. Hold family meetings that give children practice helping to solve family problems such as squabbles between siblings, hassles getting off to school, and making meals more pleasant. Although as parents and caretakers we always need to stand firmly behind key values such as caring and fairness, we can make our home democratic in key respects, asking our children to express their views while they listen to ours. Involving children in making plans to improve family life teaches perspective-taking and problem-solving skills and gives them an authentic responsibility: becoming co-creators of a happy family.

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• Real responsibilities. Expect children to routinely help, for example, with household chores and siblings, and only praise uncommon acts of kindness. When these kinds of routine actions are simply expected and not rewarded, they’re more likely to become ingrained in every day actions.

• Make caring and justice a focus. Start conversations with children about the caring and uncaring acts they see in their daily lives or on television and about acts of justice and injustice they might witness or hear about in the news, such as a person who stood up for an important cause or an instance of sexism or racism. Ask children how they see these actions and explain why you think these actions are caring or uncaring, just or unjust.

• Expressing thanks. Consider making expressing gratitude a daily ritual at dinnertime, bedtime, in the car, or on the subway. Encourage children to express appreciation for family members, teachers, or others who contribute to their lives.
  

Why?

Almost all children empathize with and care about a small circle of families and friends. Our challenge is help children learn to have empathy and care about someone outside that circle, such as a new child in class, someone who doesn’t speak their language, the school custodian, or someone who lives in a distant country. 

How?

It is important that children learn to zoom in, listening closely and attending to those in their immediate circle, and to zoom out, taking in the big picture and considering the range of people they interact with every day. Children also need to consider how their decisions impact a community. Breaking a school rule, for example, can make it easier for others to break rules. Especially in our more global world, it’s important, too, for children to develop concern for people who live in other cultures and communities.

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• Children facing challenges. Encourage children to consider the perspectives and feelings of those who may be vulnerable, such as a new child at school or a child experiencing some family trouble. Give children some simple ideas for taking action, like comforting a classmate who was teased or reaching out to a new student.

• Zooming out. Use newspaper or TV stories to start conversations with children about other people’s hardships and challenges, or simply the different experiences of children in another country or community.

• Listening. Emphasize with your child the importance of really listening to others, especially those people who may seem unfamiliar and who may be harder to immediately understand.
  

Why?

Children are naturally interested in ethical questions and grappling with these ethical questions can help them figure out, for example, what fairness is, what they owe others, and what to do when they have conflicting loyalties. Children are also often interested in taking leadership roles to improve their communities. They want to be forces for good. Many of the most impressive programs to build caring and respect and to stop bullying and cruelty, for example, have been started by children and youth.  

How?

You can help children become ethical thinkers and leaders by listening to and helping them think through their own ethical dilemmas, such as, “Should I invite a new neighbor to my birthday party when my best friend doesn’t like her?” At the same time, you can provide opportunities for your children to fight injustice in their communities and to strengthen their communities in other ways.

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• Taking action. Encourage children to take action against problems that affect them, such as cyberbullying or an unsafe street corner.

• Joining up. Provide opportunities for children to join causes, whether it’s reducing homelessness, supporting girls’ education in developing countries, calling attention to the plight of abused animals, or any area that is of interest to them.

• Doing “with.” Encourage children not just to “do for” others but to “do with” others, working with diverse groups of students to respond to community problems.

• Thinking out loud with your child. Start a conversation about ethical dilemmas that arise on TV shows or give children ethical dilemmas to grapple with at meal times or in other situations. What should they do when a schoolmate tells them bad things about another child? When they see someone cheating on a test or stealing? When they’ve done something wrong and are afraid to admit it to their parents or caretakers?
  

7. Help children develop self-control and manage feelings effectively.

Why?

Often the ability to care for others is overwhelmed by anger, shame, envy, or other negative feelings.

How?

We can teach children that all feelings are ok, but some ways of dealing with them are not useful. Children need our help learning to cope with feelings in productive ways.

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• Identifying feelings. Name for children their difficult feelings such as frustration, sadness and anger and encourage them to talk to you about why they’re feeling that way.

• 3 steps to self-control. A simple way to help children to manage their feelings is to practice three easy steps together: stop, take a deep breath through the nose and exhale through the mouth, and count to five. Try it when your child is calm. Then, when you see her getting upset, remind her about the steps and do them together.

• Resolving conflicts. Practice with your child how to resolve conflicts. Consider a conflict you or your child witnessed or experienced that turned out badly, and role play different ways of responding. Try to achieve mutual understanding—listening to and paraphrasing each other’s feelings until both people feel understood. If your child observes you experiencing a difficult feeling and is concerned, talk to your child about how you are handling it.

• Clear limits. Use authority wisely to set clear boundaries. Explain how your limits are based on a reasonable and loving concern for your child’s welfare.

Raising a caring, respectful, ethical child is and always has been hard work. But it’s something all of us can do. And no work is more important or ultimately more rewarding.

The following have endorsed these tips: Ashoka, Career Training Concepts / H. E.A.R.–Helping Everyone Achieve Respect, Cartoon Network, Center for Character and Citizenship at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, Center for the 4th and 5th Rs, SUNY Cortland, Character Education Partnership (CEP), Deborah Temkin, Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), Committee for Children, Facing History and Ourselves, Great Schools, Greater Good Science Center, University of California, Berkeley, HopeLab, Jessica Berlinski, Adaptive Health Systems, Jubilee Center for Character and Virtues, Maurice J. Elias, Director, Social-Emotional Learning Lab, Rutgers University, Michele Borba, National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS), National School Climate Center, Peace First, PREVNet, The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, YMCA of the USA.

Last reviewed November 2022.

Tips for parents on child care

It is very important to properly care for the skin of a child from early childhood. After all, it was at this time that the foundation of her health and beauty for life was laid. Children's skin is several times thinner than the skin of an adult, it is finally formed only by the age of 12. The skin of babies contains a large percentage of water, it has almost no acidic protective layer of its own, it is still difficult for it to independently resist external influences: harmful bacteria, infections and other irritants. Therefore, delicate, sensitive and capricious children's skin requires increased attention and care. Any friction - washcloths, diapers, diapers - can cause irritation. Clothing containing artificial fibers can also cause itching, prickly heat and cause discomfort to the baby. nine0003

Over the years, the skin matures, but as your child grows and develops, it needs special care, and therefore, special products designed to suit the characteristics of children's skin. Remember, healthy skin for a baby is not only a feeling of comfort, but also the main barrier to the penetration of microbes. There are several important rules for caring for the skin of a child and his things:

1. Change disposable diapers correctly.
Disposable diapers have revolutionized baby care. Mountains of wet diapers are a thing of the past. But to ensure real comfort for the baby, you need to take care of skin care. Under the diaper, she is especially prone to irritation and redness. Even if the diapers are of very good quality, the time of wearing one diaper during the day should not exceed 3 hours. But at night, if the child sleeps peacefully, this time can be extended to 8-10 hours. Don't put a new diaper on your baby right after removing the old one. It is necessary that the child takes an air bath for 10-15 minutes, and the skin must be dry. nine0003

Before each diaper change, the baby must be washed under warm running water, and the girl from front to back, so as not to introduce an infection. This can be done with baby cream soap..

If it is not possible to wash the child, use cleansing wet wipes. And if the baby's skin is prone to dryness, your first assistant is the "Eared Nyan" cleansing cream wipes..

Before putting on a diaper, it is necessary to treat the baby's buttocks and groin area with a special baby diaper protection cream to avoid diaper rash and irritation. nine0003

2. Don't forget to nourish and moisturize your baby's skin.
Due to the weak function of the sebaceous glands, the surface of the baby's skin is drier than that of adults, therefore, it needs additional nutrition and hydration. Light moisturizing creams are quickly absorbed without leaving a greasy sheen, maintain the natural moisture of the skin and soften it. These creams can be used throughout the day to make baby's skin soft and smooth. But it is especially necessary to use them to replenish the loss of moisture after taking water procedures, as well as in the hot season. nine0003

Nourishing creams are designed to protect and nourish the skin of babies. They are based on mineral and natural oils. Mineral oil remains on the surface of the skin, covering it with a thin film and thus providing protection. Natural - penetrates deep into the skin, providing an additional caring effect (nutrition, moisturizing, softening, etc.). Easily vulnerable children's skin is prone to inflammation and redness. To restore the skin and ensure its protection, use the Eared Nyan children's anti-inflammatory cream. It promotes rapid healing and regeneration of the skin thanks to the optimal combination of mineral and natural oils. nine0003

Carefully monitor the condition of the baby's skin, prevent irritation and inflammation. If they are not prevented, serious consequences can occur. Remember that the skin of a child is an indicator of his internal state: if the body does not perceive something from food, then a skin reaction (redness, pimples) will immediately tell you that this component is better not to be included in the diet. In the same way, allergic reactions to a variety of things occur: dust, pollen, animal hair, a reaction to inappropriate cosmetics is possible. nine0003

Take special care to protect children's skin from wind and sun.

3. Remember, cleanliness is the guarantee of health.
Most children enjoy bathing: the warm water soothes them and helps them fall asleep. Bathe children every day at the same time; best before feeding. Do not bathe the baby if he has a fever or has pustular skin diseases (dermatologists in such cases do not recommend bathing children).

It is very important to properly immerse your baby in the bath. With your left hand, you need to cover the left armpit of the child, the back of the head and head in this case rest on your shoulder; support the baby from below with the right hand. After immersion in water, the head and torso of the child must be supported with the left hand and forearm. The water level should not cover the upper part of the chest. The duration of bathing ranges from 3 to 15 minutes. With your right hand, lather the head, neck, armpits, arms, chest, stomach and legs of the child in turn with soft circular movements, while the soapy areas should be rinsed immediately. For washing, use a special baby gel. At the end of washing the child must be rinsed with clean water. During rinsing, cover his head with your hand so that water does not get into his eyes. nine0003

When washing a child's hair, pay attention to the condition of the scalp. If you notice crusts of milky scab, be sure to remove them. To do this, 2 hours before the evening bath, thickly lubricate the baby's head with baby oil, and when the crusts soften, remove them with a fine comb. After that, wash your baby's head with baby shampoo.

In the complex of hygiene for babies, care for the nose, ears and nails plays an important role. For regular cleaning of the nose, use a tightly rolled cotton turunda moistened with baby oil. Gently rotate it into the nasal passage to a depth of 1.5-2 cm and remove the accumulated secretions from the spout. If there is too much mucus, use a nasal aspirator. nine0003

Baby's ears should be cleaned after bathing. To do this, it is better to use cotton swabs with a limiter. In this case, only the auricle should be cleaned, without delving into the ear canal.

Don't forget about the baby's nails. Be prepared for the fact that in children they grow very quickly and require regular trimming. Use small scissors for this, and it is better if they are with blunt ends. Some find it convenient to use baby nail clippers. It is more convenient to cut nails when the baby is sleeping, but be careful. To avoid touching the skin, wring out the pads of your fingers. nine0003

4. Choose the right baby cosmetics (soap, shampoo, cream, etc.).
The acidity of the skin of babies is different from the acidity of the skin of adults, so adult cosmetics are not suitable for children.

For example, when choosing a shampoo for your baby, remember that the fluff that replaces newborn hair in the first months of life, and the hairs that replace it, are much thinner and weaker than adult hair. And the emerging top layer of the scalp is still very delicate and vulnerable. Therefore, baby shampoo should be pH-neutral, not wash out the natural protective layer, not dry the skin, rinse well and not irritate the mucous membrane of the eyes. nine0003

Also note that not all products intended for children can be used on newborns. The skin of a baby is very thin and sensitive, so it is better to use creams and cleansers designed specifically for newborns to care for it.

In addition to tactile sensations, smells have a great influence on the child. Harsh synthetic fragrances irritate babies. They are more accustomed to natural, subtle odors. nine0003

When using a new brand of soap, shampoo, cream for the first time, try it on a small area of ​​your body. If redness appears in this area after a while, do not use these cosmetics.

5. Pay special attention to the care of your baby's clothes and underwear.

Since the skin of babies is very delicate and sensitive to external stimuli, special attention should be paid to children's clothes and dishes. nine0008 Babies in the first months of life still have a very imperfect immune system, and with improper care, there is a high risk of allergic reactions even in an initially healthy child, so it is better to take care of the baby's health and work a little.