Thus, in Russia, leaving a child without help is unacceptable until they reach the age of 14. It is also a violation of the law for a child under the age of 18 to be alone on the street and in public places without being accompanied by responsible adults from 22:00 to 06:00. If the child is staying somewhere away, then the parents are obliged to come for him. By the way, a lot of people just don't know this. If you left a child under the age of 14 alone at home - and nothing happened, then this is one situation, but if something does happen, then you bear criminal responsibility for this, among other things. But now we will discuss with you not the legislative framework, but why you should not do this, and also try to understand when you feel the need for this and what can be done to avoid such situations. nine0003

- I am literally chained to the child, I need to dress and collect it in order to go outside, to get to the pharmacy. This is not always convenient. It's easier to leave him at home and run out quickly.

— I agree. There are situations when it is difficult to go out alone with children, especially when you have more than one child, but several, or if the children are sick. Do you have a husband, neighbors, girlfriends, familiar mothers from the playground, relatives?

- Yes, but it's not always convenient to ask for them.

— I understand that it is difficult for mothers to cope without the support of another person. But this is a matter of your child's safety. And your responsibility. Do you know the phone numbers of all your friends in order to help each other out? Now in big cities there are many delivery services that can help in critical situations. nine0003

- No, I don't know the phone numbers. By the way, it's a good idea, you can create a general chat to help each other. But what's so terrible about running out for a minute if the child stays on his own and doesn't act weird?

- One day I stopped near a sobbing woman who had fallen and broken her leg after slipping on the ice. She called an ambulance and asked: "Is there someone at home?" She began to sob even harder, “Yes. Three year old child. One!" Mom decided to "shop around the shops while he sleeps." Where is the husband? Business trip. Does anyone have the keys? Yes, at my mother-in-law not far from Moscow. Did you call her? Not yet. Why? The mother-in-law will yell at me. I asked my mother-in-law to call immediately. The ambulance took the woman away on a stretcher - a double open fracture. They said that she would definitely spend a few days in the hospital. This is the situation of leaving the child in danger. I can understand that this woman was tired of sitting at home, she really wanted to go out for a while, she was used to doing everything herself, not asking anyone for help. She didn't expect anything terrible, of course. I will not tell other scary stories, believe me, I have accumulated a lot of them over the years of work, and resuscitators and traumatologists have a lot more. nine0003

We find it hard to believe that something could happen unexpectedly - to us, to the electrical wiring, to the gas stove. But this, unfortunately, happens, and often. Even if you have the most independent and responsible child in the world, he is not always able to cope with what is happening. When you leave home, even "for a moment", children may imagine that you are leaving forever! Any child knows that the safest place in the world is next to his mother, and tries, if possible, to stick to it. If a child does not let his mother out of his sight - this is the most striking indicator that he is not sure of his own safety, does not know how he can cope in different situations alone, without a mother. Our task is not to convince him in words - no one will believe you, but to teach him to act. The main thing in this matter is gradualness. Let's discuss how to teach your child to be independent so that later you can leave him at home safely so that he can cope with his life in the future. Our task is not to lead by the hand until old age, but to teach how to live and survive. nine0003

1. Let your child play alone. First next to you, then in another room. So he will gradually be convinced that he may be alone for some time, but you are always somewhere nearby.

2. Allow your child as much independent self-care activities as possible. Dress yourself, undress, pour water into a glass, use a fork and knife, cut a salad.

3. Show where the food is, where the child can get it from. Try not to hide tasty treats in distant cabinets. Often children are looking for something to eat and climb into places where it is not safe. nine0003

4. Show how to use household appliances correctly. Turn on and off the kettle, stove, washing machine.

5. Teach them not to open the door to strangers, use the phone, know the numbers of parents, relatives, rescue services. Let all numbers be written down on paper and lie in a conspicuous place, and not just in the phone's memory. Just in case, say what you need to report by phone to the rescue service: full name, address, situation. nine0003

6. Consider a safe window closing system from the moment your child starts moving around the apartment, that is, by the end of the first year of life. Mosquito nets often deceive children by giving them the false impression that they can be leaned on.

7. A child should be able not only not to open the door to strangers, but also to quickly get out of the apartment if the source of danger is inside.

As soon as your child learns to be in an apartment on his own, that is, not to sit for an hour with a tablet, but consciously begins to understand how to cope with different situations inside the house, then the age of leaving him alone for a while will come. Some children can be left for a while already at 7-8 years old, others at 14-15 too early. In European countries, children from the age of 16 are allowed to be at home alone. In the US, everything changes from state to state, but today there is a ban on being at home alone if a teenager is under 15 years old. In some states, the age has been increased to 16-17 years. In Nevada, children under the age of 21 are not only allowed to be unsupervised at home, but also not to go outside after 21:00. In Japan, boys from 12 years old, and girls from 11 years old can stay at home without adults, and in India - from 8-10 years old. At the same time, marriages in this country are concluded at the age of 12-13 years. nine0003

The main thing is that the responsibility for children and testing their ability to stay at home alone lies with the parents. We are all afraid of external danger, we live behind iron doors, which, if something happens, cannot even be quickly opened. Children are locked up, often out of a false idea of ​​caring, out of fear, a desire to avoid trouble, to be good parents: let them sleep in the car - don’t wake them up, let them stay at home - don’t carry them with you, there are infections. Sometimes you just want to come to your senses, recharge with impressions, save yourself from parental burnout. Many parents themselves grew up with an abandoned complex - they were regularly left alone with a key around their neck, and they just as easily leave their children alone, not only not seeing anything special in it, but even with a share of pride: mine can already sit by themselves. It’s great if nothing terrible happens, but it’s almost impossible to forgive yourself if something happens to a child in the absence of adults. Left in apartments, cars, children turn out to be a terrible sacrifice to our fears and false ideas about safety. Take care of yourself and children. nine0003

See also:

How to teach your child to fall asleep on their own

In our own words: developing coherent speech in a child

5 tasks for concentration of attention that children can easily cope with

Photo: Zurijeta Boystock .com

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Legal norms: what to do if children are left without parents or guardianship Elena Alshanskaya.

Below is background information on the main forms of placement for children whose parents have died or lost parental rights. The main such forms are adoption and guardianship.

Adoption (adoption)

Adoption (adoption) is a legal institution designed to create relations between the adopter and the adopted child that are closest to those that arise between parents and natural children. The law equates an adopted child to the natural children of the adoptive parents, therefore adoption is a priority form of child placement - he receives the same rights and obligations as the natural one, and the adoptive parents assume all parental rights and obligations. nine0003

Adoption is carried out by the court at the request of persons wishing to adopt a child, in the order of special proceedings according to the rules of civil procedural legislation. In this, adoption differs from the establishment of custody of a child, the decision on which is made by the guardianship and guardianship authorities.

Orphans and children whose both parents have already been deprived of parental rights may be adopted.

Custody (guardianship)

Free guardianship (guardianship) is often established by close relatives over a child whose parents were deprived of parental rights, ended up in places of detention or died. Guardianship can be established over a child under the age of 14, and guardianship is established over adolescents between the ages of 14 and 18. nine0003

The guardian exercises control over the preservation and use of movable and immovable property owned by a minor child, but does not have the right to dispose of this property. In cases where parents have died, or are in places of deprivation of liberty, or are deprived of their rights, the guardians are paid a child support allowance.

According to the results of a study by the laboratory of social orphanhood of the Research Institute of Childhood of the RDF, which was conducted for a number of years in different regions of Russia, grandmothers most often became guardians - in 88% of cases. In 12% of cases, grandfathers became them, and there were no more than 2% of strangers among guardians. nine0003

The guardian is appointed by the guardianship and guardianship authorities, which are also local governments. Their powers are determined by their statutes. The decision is made by the head of the city or district, including city districts, administration at the place of residence of the guardian. The same procedure applies to trustees. Usually, relatives of the future ward are appointed guardians and trustees, and if they are absent, then persons are appointed at the choice of the relevant authorities.

Guardianship and guardianship authorities identify children left without parental care, keep records of such children and, based on the specific circumstances of the loss of parental care, select forms of placement for children left without parental care, and also exercise subsequent control over the conditions of their maintenance, upbringing and education .

Preliminary guardianship (guardianship)

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In order to establish preliminary guardianship or guardianship in a timely manner, the relevant authority makes proposals to establish them to citizens who have expressed a desire to be guardians or trustees and are registered.

A temporarily appointed guardian or custodian has all the rights and obligations of a guardian or custodian, with the exception of the right to dispose of the property of the ward on his behalf (give consent for the ward to make transactions to dispose of his property). Preliminary guardianship or trusteeship shall be terminated if, before the expiration of a month from the date of adoption of the act on the temporary appointment of a guardian or custodian, the temporarily appointed guardian or custodian is not appointed as a guardian or custodian in the general manner. In exceptional circumstances, this period may be extended up to two months. nine0003

International procedure

If those wishing to adopt (take care of) a child live in the CIS countries, the international procedure for adoption comes into force.

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